TDTokyo Chapter 1
A familiar face is standing in front of what looks like the Tokyo Tower. Lights of a famous city are flashing behind him. "Hey, everybody! It's me, Chris McLean, and I'm here to host the next season of Total Drama, which I like to call Total Drama Tokyo! Last season, we had twenty contestants battle it out in Revolution City in North America. In the end, Tasia beat Kavren, winning the billion dollars. But Kavren got a consolation prize, also known as the fair Abbey! So, yeah. Rich dudes. Anyways, we have twenty all new contestants here to battle out in the largest city in the world! I hope our cohosts get here soon..." Chris stands there for a minute. Then, a limo drives up, and out steps Chef Hatchet, with a squat Japanese dude. "Yo, Chris. Here I am. And Suzuki is here, too." says Chef. "Konnichiwa." says the Japanese dude, who is apparently Suzuki. "What's he doing here? He already got eliminated from Total Drama Arcade." says Chris. "Yeah, but I'm Japanese. Chef hired me for money, guy. Lots and lots of money." says Suzuki. "Can we just meet our first contestant?" asks Chris. "Yeah, man. Here you go." says Chef. "Looks like they're here." A big plane flies down, and lands next to Chris and Chef. Out hops a pale girl with gothic clothes and a nose stud. "Hi." says the girl, who is obviously not in the best mood. "Well, hello." says Chris awkwardly. "What's your name?" "Wouldn't you like to know?" asks the girl rudely. She takes out a book reading "Animal Skulls of the World" and sits down. "Now, if you guys want to live, don't disturb me." "Chef, is her name on the sign up sheet anywhere?" asks Chris. "Ooh, Ooh, I got it." says Suzuki. "Her name's Estrella." "That is a weird name." says Chris. "Chris is a weird name." says Estrella, moments after Chris. "Um, no it isn't. Christopher was the fifth most popular baby name the year I was born." says Chris. "Estrella was the fifth most popular baby name the year I was born." says Estrella. "I've never met anyone named Estrella besides you." says Chris. Estrella gives Chris "the finger", then continues to read her book. A boy comes out of the plane. He is stout, and has frizzy red hair, and a potion of some sort. "Guten tag, guten tag." says the boy. "I am Quincy." "Whatever. It's not like we're going to be on the same team or anything." says Estrella. "Actually..." says Chris, checking the team listings. "Save it for later, wad." says Estrella. "Oh, you're in a nice mood today." says Quincy sarcastically. "I don't appreciate your tongue." says Estrella. "Maybe this will cheer you up, eh?" asks Quincy. He pours his potion onto Estrella's arm, and it turns green. "You idiot! What the CRAP did you do?!" screams Estrella. "Ah, don't worry. It will be fixed in four to six hours." says Quincy. "Meh." says Estrella. She takes a glove out of her pocket and puts it on, hiding her green arm. Another kid literally flies out of the plane. He also has red hair, and a green hoodie. He is wearing feminine pants. "Sup, dudes and dudettes?" asks the kid with a sketchy grin on his face. "Anderson! My man! Glad you made it out of the plane without pulling any pranks." says Chris. "Um, actually..." says Anderson. "Never mind, dude." "What's up with the pants?" asks Estrella. "Aw, I don't want to talk about it." says Anderson. "My sister got revenge on me for all those things I did to her, so she put some lady pants on me, and they won't come off." "I have invented an adhesive liquid that could easily take those pants off." says Quincy. "Naw, I like the feel of them, dude. But thanks for the offer." says Anderson. Another plane comes up, but this time it looks like a private jet. A girl with an angry frown on her face, and expensive-looking clothes, steps out of it with a butler following her. "Charles, pick up that gum wrapper. I hate litterers." says the girl. The girl's butler haplessly picks up the gum wrapper. "But Layla, you litter every day." "So? That doesn't mean others should copy me." says Layla. "Everyone, meet multimillionaire Layla A. Knee." says Chris boringly. "What's up with my intro?" whines Layla. "I didn't come here to be overlooked. I came here to win, and add more bucks to my collection. Charles, give me a pop." Layla's butler takes out an Orange Crushment and gives it to her. "I hate Orange Crushment. I want a Mountain Fizz." says Layla. "Oh, and switch my uPod. I don't want Woman Googoo, switch it to Bruno Jupiter." Charles does all of those things for Layla. "You know, man, you're hot and all, but you should probably give your butler a break. He looks like he's pretty tired." says Anderson. "So? I don't really care." says Layla. Quincy pours something in Layla's hair, and it turns into an afro. "Yuck! You idiot! Charles, make my hair back to normal." says Layla. Charles begins to massage her afro. "Let's move on to our next contestant." says Chris. A short, somewhat handsome dude with a big nose and colorful clothing, holding trading cards, comes out of the plane. "Hi, everyone." he says cheerfully. "Have any of you ever played Luncheons and Laggins?" "Oh, you mean that nerd game?" asks Estrella. "My friend plays it." "Ooh! A girl L&L fan! Is she hot?" asks the kid. "Oh, my name is Tolkien, by the way." "I suppose you could say she's hot. After all, she was a fan favorite from last season." says Estrella blandly. "Ah, last season. My sister was in that." asks Anderson. "Yeah, my sister was too, but whatever." says Estrella. "Dude, who was it?" says Tolkien, hopping up and down happily. "Um--" says Estrella. "No. You're not revealing, we're doing that later." says Chris. "Whatever. It's not like you guys care." say Estrella. "What's with the trading cards, dude? Are those 'Majyk: The Meeting' cards?" asks Anderson. "I used to collect those." "Yeah, man. Do you want the Black Lich? Its attack, Shadow Wand, does fifty damage unless the opponent is a light type, when it does five hundred damage and it also lowers the opponent's def--" says Tolkien. "Just give me the card, guy." says Anderson. Tolkien grumbles and hands Anderson the card. Anderson puts it in his pocket, crumpling it slightly. "Watch it, dude, you could rip it!" says Tolkien. "So?" asks Anderson. "I got ketchup on my Demon Heart card two years ago. It's still there." Tolkien gasps. "Hopefully, you'll think this next person is hotter." says Chris. "Here's Isabel." A blonde girl with curly hair and a pink and purple shirt comes out of the plane. "Where am I?" she asks cluelessly. "You're in Tokyo, Japan." says Layla. Under her breath, she mumbles, "Idiot." "Oooh, I love Tokyo! I climbed the Eiffel Tower here when I was four." says Isabel. Everyone sighs and slaps their heads. "She would be hot, but she's dangerously stupid." says Tolkien. Anderson nods. "You're so pretty! I've never met a girl like you." says Isabel, approaching Tolkien. "But, I'm not a girl..." says Tolkien. "Ohhhh." says Isabel. "I knew that." "I'm sure you did." says Anderson wisely. A fat black kid with a red and white shirt with a nametag reading "CAVI", bling, and a big nose steps out of the plane. "'Ey, guys, wassup?" says the boy. "This is Shawn." says Chris apathetically. "I think ya guys know me. After all, I am an amazing singer." says Shawn. "Yeah, whatever." says Chris. "Eeee, I love music!" says Isabel happily. "Eww, I don't. It makes my ears bleed." says Anderson. "How dare you insult Kishawn Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam Havana?" screams Shawn. "Dude, that name is longer than Dolph's." says Tolkien. "Hey, baby." says Shawn, approaching Layla seductively. "Yuck." says Layla. "Charles, get me away from this creep." Layla's butler pushes Layla away from Shawn. "Shawty is an eenie meenie miney mo lova." winks Shawn. "I'd rather date girl-pants over there." says Layla. Anderson makes a clicking noise. "Here's the next contestant. Everybody give a warm welcome to Milo." says Chris. A black kid with a mohawk falls from the sky, screaming his head off. "Uh, hi?" asks Layla. "Hey, dudes!" says Milo, with a high voice. "That was AWESOME!" "Where did you just come from?" asks Quincy. "I'd like to make notes on it for my next experiment." "I was skydivin'!" says Milo. "My parachute didn't work, but oh well." "I want to make a song about that." says Anderson. He clears his throat. "Skydivin' guuuuuuuurl... You make my heart huuuuurl... You're as shiny as a pe--" "I thought you said music made your ears bleed." says Layla, covering his ears. "Other people's music does. My music is, like, totally epicsauce." says Anderson. "I watched last season. It was wild, so I decided to join!" says Milo, drinking his water bottle. "I don't know if that good choice or not. I hurt when I Total Drama." says Suzuki, waggling his finger. "Crazy dude killed me." "One of the guys last season looked a lot like one of my buds. He's irresistible!" says Milo. "Everybody, meet Bart. You may know him from MyCircle." says Chris. Some guy steps out of the plane, eating Mickey D's. "Hey, dudes." "Uh, who is that? Charles, find him on Headnovel for me." says Layla. "Oh my god, it's the president!" screams Isabel. "I'm not the president, idiot. But I should be." says Bart pompously. "Bart Baker. Age twenty-three. 1,500 friends. Most known for making offensive parodies of songs on MyCircle." says Layla's butler, reading off of his uPad. "Oh, you're that guy who dressed up as Friday Brown and made a nasty video about her song." says Tolkien. "And you have a really weird obsession with shrimp." says Anderson. "I parodied you in one of my videos, so shut up." says Bart. "Am I the only one who has no idea who this tool is?" asks Estrella, while reading. "Well, you're not a pervy dude, so probably." says Anderson. "What's up with all of your videos involving shrimp, old men, or cross dressing?" asks Quincy. "Shrimp is a good food. Old guys are funny. And I like cross dressing." says Bart. "All right, I hate this guy. Charles, get me away from him." says Layla. Charles pushes Layla into a dumpster. Everybody laughs. "That is NOT funny." scolds Layla. "Charles, get them to stop laughing." Charles farts. Everyone laughs even harder, except Estrella. "At least one person has comon sense." says Layla, pointing to Estrella. "No, I can't laugh. I've never laughed in my life, and I'm physically incapable." says Estrella. "Yeah, right. Let me hear you try." says Layla. Estrella tries to laugh, and a gagging noise comes out. "See?" asks Estrella. "That is the most awesome thing I have ever seen. Charles, make her do it again." says Layla. Charles taps Estrella on the head. Estrella punches him in the stomach. "I'm not really feeling it right now." says Estrella. "Hey, dude, can I have some Mickey D's?" asks Tolkien, taking a fry. "Get your own fries, you little--" says Bart. The screen goes black, and switches to a guy in a banana suit dancing. It then goes back to Tokyo, where Chris is introducing the next person. "Everyone, say hello to Oz." says Chris. A morbidly obese guy with pink skin, a weird mustache, nerdy clothing, and a ponytail comes out of the plane. "Oh my GOD, it's Oz from that comics store!" screams Tolkien. "Like, seriously?." says Oz. "That, like, annoying little kid?" "You are like a GOD to me." says Tolkien. "You must remember me! I come in with my buddies every day and play L&L!" "Like, whatever. Get away from me, nerd." says Oz. "Great, another nerd." says Layla. "I love nerds, they're my favorite candy!" says Isabel. "I am not a nerd. I am, like, wise beyond my years." says Oz. "And you still live with your mother." says Bart. "Like, how do you know that?!" glares Oz. "I've been in that store once. It smells like shrimp." says Bart. "That's extremely ironic." says Anderson. "Shut up, lady pants." says Bart. "Let's meet Valencia." says Chris. A strange-looking girl comes out of the plane. She has red and brown hair, colorful arm bands and bracelets, and cool sneakers. "Hey, everyone." says Valencia. "I hate scene people. Charles, get me away from her." says Layla. "Dude, chill. I'm not scene. I'm just alternative, a'ight?" asks Valencia. "She's a good one." whispers Anderson. Tolkien nods. "What was that?" says Valencia. "I didn't come here to pick up dudes. I came here to win." "Win? You're not gonna win." says Bart. "What about my sister? She got pretty far." says Valencia. "What is this, that Twinklefog story where everyone was related to past contestants?" asks Quincy. The plane suddenly explodes, and a guy is sent flying out. "MY PLANE!" screams Chris. "Oh, hi, Keenan." "Dude, what just happened?!" screams Keenan. "Someone put a bomb in the plane." "Anderson..." says Chris. "I couldn't help it, man. Sorr-eee." says Anderson. "Whatever. We have more, anyways, this is Keenan, guys." says Chris. "Nice boobs." says Estrella. "Uh, thanks? I work out a lot." says Keenan. Tolkien blatantly coughs, "Marty Stu." "Marty Stu? Oh, no, man. That was my brother. That is, before he..." says Keenan. "Never mind." "Who's your br--" asks Quincy. "Idontwanttotalkaboutitokay?" says Keenan rapidly. "You're hot." says Layla. "Charles, make him give me a hug." Charles presses Layla up to Keenan, awkwardly. "XD." says Tolkien, taking pictures. "Now, to put it on Oz's Wall of Shame." "Only I get to choose the pictures that go on my wall of shame." says Oz. "Here's Roz." says Chris. "Be warned, her family is a bit sketchy." "YO YO YO!" screams a voice. A plane then crashes down from the sky, upside-down. A hot girl comes out, doing cartwheels. "..." says Estrella. "TNWPJS, by the way." "Wassup, everybody? I'm Roz, but you probably already knew that. Chris introduced me. Hehe." says Roz. "Like, nice name." says Oz snidely. "I like your bandana. I made a bandana out of cow snot once." says Quincy. "Awesome! I once ate a gallon of cow snot when playing truth or dare with my sis and cuz." says Roz. "That's pleasant." says Tolkien. "Yeah, I know, right? My sister Izzy had to T.P. my drunken neighbor's house. She narrowly escaped the cops." says Roz. "Wait. THE Izzy?" asks Anderson. "Uh-huh. That's where I get my distinctiveness!" says Roz. "I can tell." says Estrella snidely. "Everyone, meet Ari." says Chris. A cute girl comes out of the bus wearing blue jeans and a bird shirt. "Mad Avians? I love that game." says Tolkien. Ari giggles. "Yeah..." "I like your nose." says Layla, touching Ari's nose. "Did you get it done?" "No..." says Ari awkwardly. "Ah, I know. I was just kidding." says Layla. Ari giggles. "Yeah." "Oh, my, god. You seem cool. Like, my perfect soulmate, or something." says Roz. "Uh-huh." says Ari. "I see." "All right everybody, let's meet Horatio." says Chris. A weird looking kid with a suit, sunglasses, and fedora comes out. "Hey, everybody. I know that times are tough, but we shall all band together and just be happy that we're alive." he says. "That's odd." says Ari. "I don't like this guy. But his speech sounds familiar." says Anderson. "Like, he seems cool, guys." says Oz. "No, he seems like a--." says Bart. The screen cuts to a weird guy with a beard riding by in a Nyan Cat. Then, it goes back to Chris and the other contestants. "Guys, this chick has been standing here for like an hour." says Valencia. "Chris, why didn't you introduce her?" "Who dat girl? Who dat girl?" sings Shawn. "I figured Yasmin could introduce herself." says Chris. "Like, okay. Hey, guys, I'm, like, Yasmin." says Yasmin. "Hey, we, like, talk the same." says Oz. "That's, like, cool." says Bart, imitating her. "Not funny, tool." says Yasmin, eating chips and texting. "What's that thing in your hand?" asks Isabel. "Like, it's, like, a phone." says Yasmin. "Duuuuhhhh." "Here's our next contestant!" says Chris. A super hot girl comes out of the plane wearing a black and white striped shirt, various necklaces, and skinny jeans. "Oh my god, it's that hot girl from MyCircle!" says Milo. "Calm yourself, Tolkien..." says Tolkien. "Yeah, hey guys. My name's Christina." says the girl. "I love your cover of E.P. by Kathy Beth Terry, dude." says Anderson. "I parodied that song." says Bart sadly. "Come on, I'm just another normal girl. You can treat me like just a regular person." says Christina. "Well, I'm a celebrity from MyCircle, and everybody made fun of me when I arrived." says Bart smugly. "Because you make disturbing parodies." says Milo. "Christina here is a sexy goddess." "When I saw one of your parodies, I threw up." says Layla. "Yeah, despite how abhorrent of a singer Friday Brown is, she didn't deserve to be made fun of in your video." says Christina. "I like your videos, dude. Don't worry." says Anderson. "That's legit, man. Thanks." says Bart. "PSYCH! Haha." says Anderson. "Your videos suck, dude." "Anderson, please keep it nice around here." says Chris. "Do I haaaave to?" whines Anderson. "Yes. Now, let's meet our next contestant, Julian." says Chris. "His name's cool. Automatic win." says Anderson. A black kid steps out of the plane. He has an afro and drumsticks. "He's, like, hot." says Yasmin. "What's up, guys? The name's Julian. That's it, I suppose." he says. Julian walks over to a park bench and starts playing on it like it's a drum. "Hey, man, I'm Milo." says Milo. "Sure." says Julian. "You know, you don't have to be rude." says Milo. Milo looks, and Julian is fast asleep. "Alex + Trent = Epicness." says Tolkien. "Ugh. I totally hated Alex. Trent was hot, though." groans Layla. "This is super awesome." says Anderson. "I hope he's on my team." "Why, do you have a 'thang' for narcoleptics?" asks Shawn. "No, man, I'm just trying to be cool." says Anderson. Julian wakes up. "Narcoleptic? Nah. Just stay-up-all-night-banging-on-drums." "I hope he's not on my team. I like sleep." says Estrella. "I don't. I hope I'm on your team." says Julian. Estrella says in the confessional, "What a ragtag bunch of misfits. Even my sister is more normal than most of these peeps. Except Milo, and that Valencia chick. They seem meh. Just meh. I'm not expecting to make any friends here. Heck, I'll probably be voted out first." "Let's meet Yuri. She's, er, special." says Chris. A car pulls up, and a girl walks out. She seems to be a fangirl, judging by the way she dresses. She is also native to Tokyo, judging by the fact that she arrived in a car instead of a plane. "Let's see here..." she says. "You two. Eeee!" She points to Shawn and Julian. "What are you talking about?" asks Shawn. "Yeah, man, I like gurls." says Julian. "You two would make a PERFECT couple!" she squeals. "A yaoi fangirl?" asks Oz. "Like, seriously?" "Yaoi. Ah, yaoi. Yes, we picked her because yaoi is a Japanese term. Yes, yes." says Suzuki. "I'm straight, though." says Shawn. "That's what they all say, bub." says Yuri, narrowing her eyes. "Gurl, none of us are gay, so just shut up." says Layla. "Well, that's rude." says Yuri. "Charles, throw her in the dumpster." says Layla. "Nah, I'm good." says Layla's butler. "..." says Anderson. "Anderson, not yet." says Chris. "Now, let's meet the last contestant... Bess." A girl with a cowgirl hat, boots, and blond hair comes out. "Nice hat, gurl. Can you make me one?!" screams Roz excitedly. "Uhh..." says Ari. "Howdy, y'all. Th' name's Bess, an' I came to this game jus' to make some friends and have a good time." she says in a Southern drawl. "Ah, the farm girl. Such a cliched stereotype, there's one in, like, every season." says Oz. "Well there hasn't been one yet in this series, so that's why we picked her." says Chris. "Now, who wants to say hello to my cow, Bessie?" asks Bess. A brown cow comes out of her plane and moos. "You two have basically the same name." says Keenan. "Yeah, I named her afta' me! Isn't she purty?" asks Bess. "No, I hate cows. They crap." says Estrella. "Everybody craps, li'l girl. Everybody craps. When ya work on th' farm, ya hafta learn that, y'know?" asks Bess. "Whatever. Just don't expect me to be 'nice' to you." says Estrella. "Where are you going to keep that cow, Bess?" asks Chris. "Aww, I'll keep it in my room, an' stuff." says Bess. "Dude, your 'rooms' are authentic Japanese hotels. It'll get all muddy. Chef, take it to the pigpens." says Chris. "But it's a cow, li'l boy." says Bess. "So?" asks Chef, then leaves. "All right, then! There's our twenty contestants! Who will be the first boot off? Will we think of any Japanese-themed challenges? Or will Twinklefog come up with all of them for us? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"